Monday, 4 May 2009

Liverpool leave Newcastle shaken and stirred

This season has seen its fair share of famous Liverpool fans. Last month’s Fulham match had renowned actor and ex Jedi Knight Liam Neeson watching from the stands. Doctor Who star David Morrissey, A-Team icon and 'force of nature': Mr T and erm... American Pie’s Stifler have all praised 'The Mighty Reds' on 'Soccer AM' in the past few months. Scouser and Liverpool fan Daniel Craig’s appearance at Anfield yesterday was notable in the amount of puns it gave today’s papers whilst reporting on the game.

The Telegraph had no less then three Bond references in one article began its analysis of the match with:

“Mike Ashley, tie loosened around his neck and face bearing the distraught expression of a man who had just lost a winning Lottery ticket, might have believed that Newcastle's salvation had arrived when he caught the eye of James Bond in the Anfield directors' box. But Daniel Craig was off-duty and supporting Liverpool for this one. Bond might be the man for a crisis, but he does not do lost causes and saving Newcastle United is becoming just that.”

“Newcastle were abject against a Liverpool team that had a licence to kill, continuing their valiant pursuit of Manchester United.”

“Newcastle just about live to Die Another Day, but the killer blow might just come against Middlesbrough in seven days' time.”

The independent piped in with:
“You might say there was not a quantum of solace in this performance for Newcastle as Liverpool's famous fan Daniel Craig – James Bond himself – would have recognised yesterday from his place in the Anfield VIP seats.”

The Daily Star reported:
“James Bond was in the crowd but it’s doubtful even he would fancy the task of trying to rescue Newcastle. Actor Daniel Craig is a big Liverpool fan but it wouldn’t have taken him too long to work out that some jobs are too stiff even for a special agent.”

The Daily Post had three references:
“It was a ruthless elimination of which the watching James Bond would have been proud.”

“And on a weekend when their dreams of the Premier League crown moved further out of reach, at least Liverpool have a quantum of solace that their championship challenge goes on.”

“Indeed, perhaps the one major disappointment of the afternoon was the realisation there may no longer be the solace of six easy points against Newcastle next season.”

The Mail said:
“When it comes to rescuing Newcastle, even the chap sitting a few yards to Mike Ashley’s left at Anfield on Sunday might not fancy his chances. Saving the world James Bond can do. But this lot? It would seem unlikely even for Liverpool fan Daniel Craig, the latest 007, who watched from the stands.”

“If there is a quantum of solace after such a crushing defeat, it is that those home encounters with Middlesbrough and Fulham remain.”

But The Mirror was by far my favourite and the clear winner in the pun stakes littering its report with Bond references, entitling its article:- “Reds have licence to thrill”

“Given that Daniel Craig was in the crowd, how fitting that the scoreline here could easily have been 00-7.”

“Liverpool's performance in destroying a quite hopeless Newcastle side does at least offer a Quantum of Solace that the title race is not yet over.”

“What was clear from this game - apart from the almost criminal incompetence of the visitors - is that the Merseyside club will go down with all (golden) guns blazing, even if James Bond himself might struggle to stop Manchester United.”

“And so it goes on, as both sides live to Die Another Day, as - given United's lead in the title race and Newcastle's complete lack of spirit in their relegation dog-fight - they both surely will.”

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